Being Assertive vs. Being Aggressive

rjb Q & A

In my new book, “Uniquely Normal: Tapping the Reservoir of Normalcy to Treat Autism,” I discuss how youngsters can approach another person in an assertive and appropriate manner without feeling that they are aggressive. Not feeling awkward is the key.

3 Ways to Help Your Autistic Kid

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Top 3 ways to help your child on the spectrum:

1) When speaking to your child, speak clearly in full sentences.

Children on the spectrum usually need help with their language, and

hearing the language normally will help them establish the cadence for the language as well as the language itself.Making the language ?simpler? by segmenting it into its parts only creates discontinuous and meaningless thoughts and speech.

2) Frequent public places

Many parents of kids on the spectrum have learned that taking their child to public places is a painful experience. First, you have younger typical kids in displaying flawless language, and second, in public places like the subway or a restaurant, there are other adults giving you looks because of how the child is behaving, making you feel like a bad parent. To a large extent, it?s the public responsibility to accommodate kids on the spectrum. But while we are waiting for the world to catch up, the benefits for the child to be with the typical population sometimes outweighs you being uncomfortable. I am aware that this is easy for me to say.

3) Have fun with your child

This cannot be said too much and it speaks for itself. Just remember to use tons of language while you are playing and give your child opportunities to respond and relate. If you can get another child involved, all the better.

Robert J. Bernstein Educational Services, LLC

Behavioral Therapist, Specializing in Autism



Phone: (914) 330-3393

My Latest Case Study

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Here is a case of a 5 year old boy who gets upset when someone makes a loud noise. For example, if a teacher is loud toward the class (not particularly to him), he will get upset and may start crying.

One day, his pediatrician was loud, he was just kidding around, and Wallace cried for 20 minutes. the doc could not work with him. When the parent came to my office, she related what had happened to me and said that the doc wanted me to figure out what was going on. I knew the doc and called him – he felt bad that he made the boy cry.

To be continued:

Question one: What did I do to see what was going on?